AM I THE ONLY ONE?

Sitting in the lounge of the Elim College in Nantwich taking a short break from the sessions at the Ministers in Training Conference. I get ordained as an Elim pastor next April. Most of the input at these conferences is refreshingly honest and vulnerable, rather than trying to build 'Superpastor'.
I have to admit that on a few instances I feel as strong and anointed as Elijah in 1 Kings 18 when he calls down fire from heaven and shows the prophets of Baal that "The Lord is God" but often I feel like Elijah in 1 Kings 19 when he's hiding in a cave and cries out to God 'I alone am left'. Even more frequently though, I wonder if I'm the only person who thinks a certain way, has certain fears, and it's those things that I'll try to articulate now.

Am I the only one....

Who thinks they’re a failure?
Who feels guilty?
Who wants everybody to like me?
Who gets afraid?
Who compares themselves to other people?
Who still feels like a little kid inside?
Who wishes they looked a bit different?
Who always has crazy hopes and dreams?
Who keeps on making the same mistakes?
Whose spirit is willing but whose flesh is weak?
Who desperately wants to serve God?
Who sometimes feels like giving up?
Who is amazed that God should choose me to accomplish his purposes?
Who is so thankful for God's love and grace?

Surely it's not just me is it?

Comments

[Andrew J. Booth]

I would like to officially enrol into "most of the time I feel like that list, as well as a few more" society.

It's hard to know how to be appropriately vulnerable, maybe that is an oxymoron?

Sounds like a late night chat on one or other side of the Atlantic.

PS> On another note, hit 3 pars last night at Cherry Hill [1st time ever to get a par!]

[Gary]

Yes yes yes!!! I do identify with this and more!! Thank you for your vunerability. Your best blog yet!!

[Becky]

I really like this post. and i pretty much always feel those things, usually all at the same time! though i still act like a kid on the outside as well as feeling like one inside... i like your site.

[icon-king.com]

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